Too long.

It has been far too long since I have updated. I have excuses, but I will not use them. I am currently at work, but I am ready to leave this very moment. I've been looking forward to this weekend for a while and I'm ready to get on the road and head back home.

This weekend, my boyfriend and I are going to visit my parents and spend some quality time with my best friend and her husband. Not only that, but he gets to meet some of my dearest friends in the world. (Beth is at the top of the list.) This is what I imagine this weekend to look like.


Ice skating (or embarrassing both myself and my hockey playing boyfriend)



Some good cuddle time by the fireplace.


Wicked Phase 10 competition.

So excited and would really like to leave right now.

Fairweather Christmas

Have a very Fairweather Christmas to you and yours.

Here is the outcome of our year Christmas card! I just ordered them from Shutterfly and really love the design. It is a little trendy for us boring Fairweathers. But I love it regardless! I also love the photography, which was done this year by a great family friend, Jessica Rogers Photography.



*Click to see a full size image, I can't figure out how to make it large without pixelated.

I think it turned out really great! I can't wait to get them in the mail... even though I won't be here when they get to town!

Thankfulness.

"Prideful people can't be thankful."

Since tomorrow is Thanksgiving, I decided to list some just some of the things that I am thankful for. Some serious, some not... but thankful none the less.

I am thankful for:
-family
-friends
-grace
-good humor
-the promises of God - and that they still apply to me
-a sweet boyfriend who puts up with me
-a hilarious roommate (who also puts up with me)
-parent's support
-having a job (even if it's not ideal)
-the middle school girls I lead
-my co-leader & mentor - along with her fantastic family
-organization - having an organized home/room
-a cute little puppy that licks my face even though I hate it
-Skype/FaceTime - makes living in a different countries a little easier
-being able to live in Knoxville
-the Military and those who serve
-encouragement
-that the blood of Christ covers me
-blogs that I get to read when I'm bored at work
-a good nap
-people who know just what to say and when to say it
-Pal's half & half peachie tea
-the ability to use the internet to look up anything
-Glee
-that my parents are still in love after 30 years
-peace & understanding

What are you thankful for? Are you prideful or thankful? You can't be both.

slowly but surely.

Slowly but surely, I am learning more and more about myself everyday. And today is no different.

If you really knew me, you'd know that I hate waking up early. But this morning, 6 am came early but was totally worth it. Even though I've only been awake for less that three hours, a lot has happened in that small amount of time. With all that's going on in my life and all that has been eating away at me and on my heart, I met with a very wise lady this morning that could totally relate and give some really fantastic advice. I am thankful for people in my life that aren't afraid to be honest and loving at the same time, and I am learning that I have a lot more of those people than I expected. She opened my eyes to see that maybe part of the issue was me and my sinful nature. Actually, not maybe... that is part of the issue.

The verse she gave me that really made me realize this is from Galatians 5.

So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

Instead of trying to "fix" others, which I can't do anyway.. I need to focus on being filled with the Spirit and ask Him to work in me. Through this, hopefully I will be able to help others make changes and live life with them. I have noticed myself being selfish, jealous, conceited, and self-centered (which I'm really good at hiding). Not being loving, honest, and true. (The lady I met with added BOLD to that mix as well.) Instead of hiding, I need to use opportunities to be bold in my faith.

So today, I am thankful that I am becoming a better person today than I was yesterday... and hoping that tomorrow I am a better person than I am today. But realizing that I am not doing this alone, I can only do this through Christ and the Holy Spirit living and moving in me.

Christmas in November.

Every year my family does a Christmas card and sends it out to our 100 closest friends. This year is no different. Since M&S are heading to Italy in a week, Dad flipped and said we absolutely NEED to have pictures taken NOW. So last Saturday morning we had a great family friends take pictures for us. Here is Jessica's photog blog.



This is one of the sneak peek pictures.

Jessica is an amazing photographer and a blessing to be around. Oh, and she is hilarious. I'm certain we were her favorite clients thus far!

With that being said, Shutterfly is offering a great deal to bloggers that I read about through my sweet friend, ABC. (She's fabulous. ) All you have to do is post your favorite design they are offering for the Holiday season and they will give you 50 free cards. Pretty sweet deal, huh?

Imagine that... ABC and I like the same things. Here are my 3 favorites. 2 of which happen to be some of her favorites too.



Holly Frame Christmas



Pretty Poinsettia




Nativity Blessing

Sign up here! It's a great deal & I'm sure my parents will just love that I have taken initiative to do this!

you got nerve.

I have a nervous stomach. I'm pretty sure it is because of my interview for Grad School this evening and it's all that I can think about today. My mind is racing with questions. The odds are not too great. They are only taking 6 applicants and there are over 60 (My guess at least. I know there were 40 three weeks ago.) Not great odds, but I'm confident in my interviewing skills, my personality, and my love for children. Honestly, the worst thing would be that I finish school Spring 2013 instead of Summer 2012. I need to have a better outlook on the interview and admissions process... I just hate that they only take very few post-grads (They mainly take people without their undergraduate degree already so they can finish in a total of 5 instead of getting the degree and taking 2 more years. - UT has a great program if you know you want your teaching license early.)

Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

This verse is what I will cling to today. Because I have Christ on my side, I am strong, I am courageous (even if my odds aren't great), I have no need to be frightened or scared or dismayed. He is with me in scary interviews that determine my future for the next 2 years, and he is with me regardless of the outcome of the interview. That's the good news!

bittersweet.

Today I just realized that Micheil and Shandi are leaving. Like in a week & a half, they will be living in Italy. Not visiting or even just leaving for a couple months, but living there. Just like a lot of things in life, this is definitely bittersweet. Since February I have seen my brother only twice, BUT also since Micheil left for Air Force Basic Training and Tech Training, I have spent a lot of time with Shandi which kind of balances it all out. I guess it's just weird to think that when I go home to visit Kingsport they won't be there anymore.

As in all situations there is a reason or a positive and this is no different. Micheil is doing something he absolutely loves. Shandi & Micheil are finally together after 8 months of being in different states. My family will get to visit Italy (Not only to visit M&S, but also getting to see where my family history started and is still so strong.) The Lord has great plans for them. Yes, I will miss them but the opportunity is to die for!

I hate quoting cliche Scripture, but it is so applicable.

Jeremiah 29:10-14
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD.

This is such a promise. I was reading Titus, Chapter 1 this morning (again) and it says God NEVER lies. (Emphasis and interpretation by me, of course.) If the Lord promises it, he isn't lying... it is truth. And that verse in Jeremiah is so reassuring that if God never lies (and He doesn't) - He PROSPERS, He gives HOPE, He LISTENS, and when we SEEK Him, we are FOUND!

Eventful Few Weeks.

I'm been meaning to update this for a while now, and finally found the time after fighting with myself all day about it!

The past few weeks of my life have been very eventful. Seriously, not much free time at all. I have been leaving for work in the morning and not returning home until late at night.. wake up the next day and repeat.

Wedding


First, the month of September was slammed with wedding events for Krista's wedding. It was one of the most beautiful weddings I have ever attended, and not just the flowers and dresses. But it was definitely an image of the Gospel and Christ's love. Gorgeous. I hope that one day, if I ever get married, others will say the same about my wedding! Being the Maid of Honor was just that, an honor. Here's a picture of me and the beautiful bride!






Creeper
After wedding weekend, I helped to plan a trip to the Creeper Trail in Virginia. We hopped in a car, loaded up a bunch of bikes, and were on our way! It was great fun and something I would love to do again soon. Except next time, my plan will be for me to say to everyone, "Hey, I'm going this day at this time... Figure out a way to get there with your own bike!" This is the whole crew! (Andy [check out his blog - even though I think he's the only one who reads this] has the same picture posted on his blog, but he stole it without consent so I can post it again.)
















Chicago
And lastly, I just got back from a long weekend in Chicago. Mel and I took a roadtrip to Chi-town so she could check out the city and decide where to go to Grad School. The trip was to see Loyola, which we didn't spend a lot of time there... after being lost for a few hours the first day. I quickly realized Big City life is not for me. I love visiting, but not to live. It's not a family town and I don't think I could ever get past having to commute so far everyday.





These are pictures from our trip. The first is from the top of the Hancock building looking over the City. And the second is from Millennium Park right between the lake and the skyscrapers.

The last big event is about to happen... in about one hour! My brother has been gone for 8 months for Air Force training and comes home today! I am so excited, and he will be home for about 3 weeks. I'm glad he will finally be back in Tennessee before leaving for Italy (yeah, him and his wife will be stationed in Italy for the next 3-4 years.. jealous). I'm glad for family dinners. I'm glad he gets to meet my boyfriend before he starts hopping continents. And I'm glad that I will eventually get to visit him and Shandi once they get settled in Italia!

Even in all the busyness of the past few months, I feel like God has showed me so much and I have learned so much about myself. I feel like grad school is where I am supposed to be and this semester of no job and no school has only made that desire for education stronger. I can't wait to start in January (assuming I get accepted). I have my program interview on November 1!

I've learned that I am excited for my future knowing that it is in God's hands. I have learned that I need to be nice, kind, and gentle (this has become a repetitive theme in my life). I have learned that being passive will not help many situations, but probably hurt it. And I have learned that I am selfish, self-centered, and all those other things that stat with "self." BUT I am saved by the grace of God regardless. The cross is mine to gain!

Grace & Peace.

I have now lived in Knoxville for over 4 years. And I pretty much have done everything I could ever imagine doing. Except.... going to these museums.

McClung Museum

East Tennesse History

I love museums, like a lot. I love knowing random facts or being able to drop obscure knowledge in the middle of conversations. Not only will this help my street cred, but it will keep my mind active and I will be less senile when I'm old (which is good for everyone's benefit, not only mine).

By the end of October, I will have gone to both of these local museums. Mark my words!

A Little Sunshine in My Life

Things I love and brighten my day:

1. Randomly seeing family when you are completely unexpected it. Today, as I was running errands throughout the whole hospital, I look up and who do I see? My Uncle and Aunt. Yep, I was so excited! My Aunt was diagnosed with Alzheimer disease a few years ago. She has been in and out of treatment at UT-Med Center ever since in the research dept. She has gotten somewhat better. She actually recognized me today and acknowledged me first today. This is HUGE. She hasn't remembered my name in a few years, so this is a big deal. So other than just seeing them, her improvement also brightens my day. No, that's probably the week.

2. Not sitting at a desk. Some people love it, but I hate it. Today, I have only been IN my office as long as it has taken to type this :) I would rather be worn out than bored.

3. Nutella. I have always loved it, but living with Melissa.. I feel like I enjoy it far more than I ever did before. Like I eat it on a pita every morning for breakfast. It's fantastic, and any day that starts with Nutella will be a good day.

4. Birthday weeks. My birthday is on Saturday, and I have already enjoyed 2 cakes in honor of this special day. 22 sucks, but cake is good.

5. FOOTBALL. I love football. Love it. Luckily, UT's season starts this Saturday which doubles as a good day. Birthday + UT football = Fantastic day.

6. Boomsday! The nation's largest Labor Day firework display? Yes, please!



Look at all that orange! GO VOLS!

Skeptical

So I have been researching diets. Just for health reasons, can always get healthier. Today I found 2 diets that are interesting and which I'm skeptical.

#1. Skinny Bitch Diet
#2. Daniel's Fast


Here are the rules for the Skinny Bitch Diet:
1. Ban all sugar and artificial sweeteners. Splenda and Nutrasweet, according to the authors, stimulate your sweet tooth, while the real thing makes your fat cells grow rampantly. If you want something sweet, stick to fruit. You can also enjoy baked goods made from beet sugar, evaporated cane juice, brown rice syrup and other natural substitutes.
2. Enjoy brown rice, whole grains and whole wheat pasta--but don't eat a morsel of white flour products. White bread, white rice and white pasta are all too refined for dieters' needs.
3. Become a vegetarian. Meat of all kinds is banned on this diet. This isn't for ethical reasons but for aesthetic ones. A big steak will give you a big butt, so stick with vegetables which are easier to digest and less caloric.
4. Stock up on soy instead of your usual dairy products. The Skinny Bitch Diet isn't just vegetarian--it's vegan. Dairy products are banned for the same reason as meats are.
5. Live on fruits, vegetables, soy, nuts, water, green tea and organic red wine. Treats made from tofu and other ingredients on the Skinny Bitch Diet are OK, but everything else is a slip up.

Daniel's Fast is more of a spiritual fast/diet. Being Christian, I find it skeptical fasting to lose weight. The point of fasting is to put focus on Christ, not your weight.

Rules of Daniel's Fast:
Foods to include in your diet during the Daniel Fast: All fruits. These can be fresh, frozen, dried, juiced or canned. All vegetables. These can be fresh, frozen, dried, juiced or canned. All whole grains. All nuts and seeds, including nut butters including peanut butter. All legumes. These can be canned or dried. All quality oils. Beverages: spring water, distilled water or other pure waters. Other: tofu, soy products, vinegar, seasonings, salt, herbs and spices.

Foods to avoid on the Daniel Fast: All meat and animal products. All dairy products including but not limited to milk, cheese, cream, butter, and eggs. All sweeteners including but not limited to sugar, raw sugar, honey, syrups, molasses, and cane juice. All leavened bread including Ezekiel Bread (it contains yeast and honey) and baked goods. All refined and processed food products including but not limited to artificial flavorings, food additives, chemicals, white rice, white flour, and foods that contain artificial preservatives. All deep fried foods including but not limited to potato chips, French fries, corn chips. All solid fats. Beverages including but not limited to coffee, tea, herbal teas, carbonated beverages, energy drinks, and alcohol.

--

Both are very similar. Pretty much, nothing except fruits, veggies, and whole grains. This I could do easily, it's just eliminating all the other stuff too, like in what I drink or not having sweets.

Maybe I'll do this, but my own version... who knows. I'll let you know how it goes.

This is all I have organized in my new condo. My closet looks awesome as you can tell by this picture. Everything is color organized the way I like it and by type. I also invested in cute little baskets to organize my stuff that should go in my bathroom but do not have room for in there.




















The rest of my room is a mess. This is where my dresser will go when I get it on Saturday. It will look great once I am no longer living about of 3 suitcases. And the pile of bags have all my stuff for my new bed which will be delivered on Saturday too.

New. New. NEW!

This week has been wild for me.

I have moved from my apartment to a new condo, that is amazing (I'll post pictures after I get all my stuff in and organized.) The room is small, but it will be cute and I'll have to be simplistic. Once again, there will be pictures soon. I just have to finish stripping and staining my dresser... Stripping was finished tonight, sanding and staining start tomorrow. I also started sanding the headboard which I am going to paint sometime soon.

I have had 4 actual job interviews in the past couple weeks. It has been great, but not successful so far. It is definitely frustrating but I am trying to get through it without crying myself to sleep every night. I just hate that something seems so promising and it falls through which has happened at least twice. And now, I am back to square one. The good news is that I now don't have to ask off to go to the beach in a week and few days.. if anything that is positive.

Also, I have decided that I am going to cut my hair off after the wedding I am in this September. Like it is going to be short. Here are the ideas I have for it!

It may appear that I am obsessed with Jessica Simpson and Eva Longoria Parker, but really I just love their hair. It looks great all the time, long, medium, or short.. so as you can tell they are my go to celebs for hairstyles.

This is obviously the length that I want to go. I want it right between my shoulders and chin. At least I have 2 more months of long hair until the wedding then the chopping will commence!

These are a few of my favorite things...

I feel like bloggers make lists of their favorite things all the time. So here I am, joining the crowd. Not that I consider myself a blogger since no one even reads this trash... haha.

First, these are my five favorite things for summer, not just of all time.

#1. Summer dresses - they are cute, fun, and can be worn all summer long, to work, church, dinner, the park, drinks out, or even just to the grocery store.



#2. Tervis Tumblers - I actually use these all year, but summer is when they get the most use. I have Tennessee Vols ones and Mayfield Milk (won it for free freshman year!), and my parents have an excessive amount... but I love it, keeps cold things cold and hot things hot.. all while never leaving a water ring. (This is a picture of the next set I want to buy!)



#3. Camera - This is actually a picture of one of the cameras I have. I haven't whipped it out in a long, long time because who wants to wait for film to be developed? They have to send that off now and it takes days. So, I really carry around my little digital camera. But summer is the best time to take photos, I mean that is when everyone is hot, sweaty, and looking best.



#4. L.L.Bean canvas tote - This is God's gift to women. Seriously. It hold everything and it's the sturdiest thing around. Even get it monogrammed and now L.L.Bean isn't just for preppy kids and moms over the age of 40. They have cute colors especially for summer!



#5. Last but not least, Sunglasses - Sunglasses are a thing I don't usually skimp on unless I need a pair for a weekend and know they will end up being ruined. So when I go to the beach I have a pair to wear while on the beach and in the water and have a nice pair to wear out. And I only wear Aviators. If I'm ever caught with anything else on they probably aren't my shades. Lately, I've been rocking my Kenneth Cole Reaction shades... I got mine at T.J.Maxx for next to nothing. I suggest doing the same (online these are $55, I got mine for $15)! Right now, Vera Bradley has some super cute ones.



With the combination of all five of these things anyone is prepared for an average summer day. So go throw on a summer dress and a pair of shades. Grab your camera and tote, and pour yourself a cool refreshing beverage and enjoy your summer!

Big week.

This week is going to be a busy week for me. But one of those weeks when you're really excited even though it will be terribly long.

First, I have my second interview with Apple on Friday. Not the first place I really want to work, but it is a great company and work well with employees. Oh and their products are great too.

Second, I am moving out of college apartment housing. Which is kind of like my first step to adulthood. I have set aside money for rent and food, honestly it's the scariest, greatest feeling ever. When I finally get everything in order I will be sure to post some pictures!

Cheers!

TY, Titus.

This week I was reintroduced to the book of Titus. It has got me thinking too. In particular from the second chapter, verses 11 to 14:

"For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works."

Claiming Christ means leaving everything else behind. I have needed that reminder this week.

Lights. Camera. Action.

Sometimes I think my life would make an awesome reality show. Other times, I wonder who would ever watch it? I'm pretty sure my friends are too cool to watch it and my parents hate reality TV unless it's on HGTV... so that only leaves those random people who don't have a life and are more enthralled by what other people are doing.

This is what I imagine my reality show to be equivalent to:



Not so much the controversy, but about as exciting.

Enjoy.

KF

Preparation for Adventures to HHI

What you should know:

Four best friends (me, Samantha, Mark, and Mitchel) will be taking a road trip to the beach to end our final summer before the “real world.” Mainly me since I’m the only college graduate, but Mark will be graduating in December which means this is pretty much it for him too.

As you can tell by the pictures:

- Sam and I want to take the church bus... for some reason that won’t happen.


-Tim isn’t going, but he made it in the before we’re at the beach picture since there wasn’t a picture of just the 4 of us.


We currently have 7 bottles of vino saved up for this adventure and it is still a month away! The boys won’t get any of it either. Our goal is to: Sleep. Eat. Drink. Repeat. Sleep includes on and off the beach. Eat includes homemade and bought meals. And I should clarify: Drink isn't just alcohol although there will be some of that going on.

If you can't tell by the pointless post, I am excited. It is only 33 days away which seems like an eternity when every day up until includes working and business. Sick.

A Blast from the Past.

One thing I love doing is reading through my old journals. As I am trying to get stuff together for a possible move, I ran across my journal from the summer I spent in Texas. So this was from 2 years ago. I just wanted to share I little of what it said:

"I want and NEED to give everything to you, God. It's going to be hard and new for me, but I need it and You want me. I've learned patience and I've learned to give up my worldly relationships, because you, God, are good and You are sweet. And with you as my life it too will be good and sweet.

'Those who sow tears shall reap with shouts of joy! He who goes out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him.'

That's what I want, I want to bear the seed for sowing and plant that seed in the hearts of all I know, I want to go home, both to Knoxville and home to heaven with shouts of joy! No shame, no discouragement, no doubt. I have been stretched, I have been broken, I have cried on my knees, I have sat and talked to girls about God and how great he is in my life. But God has broken me just to build me and he made me better."

It was a great reminder of how much I suck. I have fallen and stumbled countless times since I wrote this and will probably continue to do so, but I am glad that was the entry I opened to this evening. I needed a slap in the face and hopefully I will constantly remember this and how I felt when I wrote it. The joy in my sorrow. The hope for my future. Everything.

Here are a couple pictures from that summer!

I know that at camp you aren't supposed to have favorites, but it happens to everyone. This week of girls were my favorite. They were awesome! Even 2 years later, I remember them and pray for them!



This is a picture of the people that kept me sane the summer in Texas. The girls on the couch were my co-counselors the whole summer and the boys in the back were in my brother cabin. Great people who I really, truly miss!



I just realized how ridiculous everyone looks in both those pictures, but when working with children it's fun! The first is from "opening show" where the goal is for everyone to look as crazy as possible. And the second was from Tacky Prom, hence the tacky outfits.

Power outage 2 hours after the storm? Much needed.

Tonight, there was a power outage. I am typing this while in the outage because I am fortunate enough to have a computer that has an unbelievably long battery life.

At first I was frustrated because of no power, like any normal person would be. But if you know me, you know that I hate storms unless I am in my home which luckily I was at the time of the storm and even more, I hate being alone during storms which I am. The good news is that I randomly lit a candle in my room for some reason tonight and when I when I went back into my room after being out in the living room all evening was when the lights went out. It definitely would have been more freaky if I walked into my room and it was pitch black. I don't know what it is but there is something about storms, power outages, and the combination that I don't like. It's not the storm itself, I love rain and I love watching lightning. But I don't like it unless I am in my own home. Weird, I know. To make me weirder, every time I see lightning I count until the thunder to calculate how close it is to me.

Trying to accept this alone time and make the most of it is hard. Even past all my nerves. Embrace this time without television, without internet (yes, I am typing without internet and will post sometime after writing but will post it as the day I actually wrote it… if that's confusing, just ignore all that), and without light so I can't even read (all my flashlights are in the trunk of my car from "cliff golfing"). It's nice to have no distractions and be able to just sit down and thinking without media overload.

I am content without all these "extras" we have in everyday life. I hate that I have 3 email accounts to keep up with, Facebook, Twitter, Skype, and a cellphone. I am literally a button away from any one person in this entire world. Yes, they are nice conveniences and I take full advantage of them daily… but maybe I need to hit the breaker and turn everything off every once and a while. And I'm sure I'm not alone!

I am going to challenge myself to take 30 minutes everyday that I am not connected. That might seem like a little amount of time to some, and a catastrophic amount to others, but I challenge others to do the same. Take time and just sit there and think. Whether you need the time for yourself without interruptions or you need to start planning a quiet time and have failed to do so… Take time and the initiative. Maybe 30 minutes a week is enough for you, or maybe 3 hours a day is more like it, I don't care your number or frequency just try it!

Oh, the Places You'll Go...

Yes, just like the Dr. Seuss book. The phrase "Oh, the Places You'll Go" has really defined my life the past few years. From the first day I moved to Knoxville to right now.

First, I NEVER in a million years wanted or even thought I would end up in Knoxville and honestly, I don't think anyone in my family did. I refused to go here, and only applied because my college adviser told me I had to at least apply to one in-state school. Little did I know it would be the best fit and the best choice I have made up to this point in my life. It was a great and pleasant surprise, not only that I'm here, but that I stayed and didn't transfer. This is stop #1, of "Oh the places you'll go" that I never thought would be. And it has truly been a blessing. Not only my location (being close enough and far enough from family) but what I have gained while here.

Stop #2 on my list. Van, Texas. Four words: It Changed My Life. Taking a whole summer and focusing on other people (something I am still learning how to do) and putting other before myself was one of the most out of character things I have ever done. I admit that I am one of the most selfish people you will ever meet. I spent the whole summer working with 3 other amazing counselors in a cabin full of 16 10-12 year old girls. Sounds crazy, I know. But that summer not only did I learn a lot about myself, but I also learned a lot about God's will for my life. I found a passion to work with middle school aged kids (once again, crazy, I know) and within a week of getting back to school and Knoxville... I went straight to my advisor's office and added a minor of Child & Family studies to my degree.

#3, back to Tennessee. I'm not sure if I should count Kingsport as a stop since it was kind of the beginning, but I will anyways. Kingsport is a fantastic place. I seriously love it. Those who visit hate it, but there is something about driving down the street and having people wave at you even if you don't know them... or going to the grocery store and running into 5 people you know. I love knowing tons of people and always having people you know that you can call up and count on. The people are great. The town is beautiful. And it really is bigger than people think it is. I don't know everyone, haha.

#4, now. I am in this awkward transition stage of life, that is really hard for me to accept. I have been applying to jobs all over Knoxville and the Tri-Cities, and the closest thing I have to even hearing anything is getting an interview, which is in 2.5 weeks. It isn't in a location I want to live (about 1 hours from both Kingsport and Knoxville) BUT it is definitely a job I am interested in taking if offered. And my parents will pretty much kill me if I don't take it. haha. It is working with a non-profit organization that houses children without homes. My "job," if I get it, would be to plan activities for this children. As the job was described to me, these children are harsh, a lot have been abused, and have no concept of love. If I get the job, that will be my main goal everyday... How can I show these children love and not only love, but how can I show them Christ without them being hostile. It will be a challenge and it won't be like an office job where you can leave your work on your desk to pick up the next day, but it will be a job that I can change lives. And in the end, that's what I want to do.

That's where I am right now. I am content with my life here in Knoxville. I've made some of the greatest friends and learned some of the hardest lessons, but I am certain that it was all for a reason. All my ups and downs have only made me a stronger person and hope to only become stronger. I pray that when people meet me they say, "Wow, look what God has done through her life," not "Wow, what a selfish person holding back all she has to offer the world."

Without Christ, I am nothing... but with Him, I have everything.

Don't let your words be without heart.

"When you pray, rather let your heart be without words than your words without heart." -John Bunyan

Sometimes I catch myself praying just because I know I should, not because I have meaning or, as this quote says, heart.

Learn it, love it, live it.

On a lighter note.

I have found a new love for cities outside of East Tennessee. This may be sad news to some, but I am throughly enjoying my time away from Knoxville and Kingsport. In the past few months I have been to:

-Cleveland, Ohio

-Atlanta, Georgia

-San Antonio, Texas

-Charleston, South Carolina

-New Orleans, Louisiana

(by the end of this week add Niagara Falls, Canada and New York)

....along with all the driving and stops between most of these places.

There is one state I will mark off of my list of places to visit again: West Virginia. It was a beautiful drive for the first hour, but after driving for 3 or so hours and never seeing anything at all got real old, real fast. And I thought Kingsport got boring, I can't imagine an entire state of boring.

My goal is to visit all 50 states within the next 5 years. These are the only states I have never visited in all my 21 years:

-Alaska

-Arizona

-Colorado

-Hawaii

-Idaho

-Iowa

-Kansas

-Michigan

-Minnesota

-Montana

-Nebraska

-Nevada

-New Mexico

-North Dakota

-Oklahoma

-South Dakota

-Utah

-Wisconsin

-Wyoming

31 down, 19 to go!

In one trip, I would like to knock out Nevada, Utah, Colorado, Arizona, and New Mexico (and I guess Oklahoma and Kansas either on the way there or back if driving)... if anyone wants to do the same, holler at me!

At the Foot of the Cross (Ashes to Beauty)

At the foot of the cross

Where grace and suffering meet
You have shown me Your love
Through the judgment You received

And You've won my heart
Yes You've won my heart
Now I can

Trade these ashes in for beauty
And wear forgiveness like a crown
Coming to kiss the feet of mercy
I lay every burden down
At the foot of the cross

At the foot of the cross
Where I am made complete
You have given me life
Through the death You bore for me

I'm laying every burden down
I'm laying every burden down

(Here's a Youtube link to the song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hk7_SBxYSZs&feature=related )

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I can't tell you how many times I've heard that song, but never listened to the words. I would sing along, close my eyes, and lift my hands... but I was just going through the motions and never paid any attention to what I was singing.

How beautiful and true is it? We were made from ashes and that's all we are until we have have Christ, then we are beautiful. How could ashes ever be anything beautiful? Just like the crown of thorn He wore on the cross for us, through his suffering, we now can wear the crown of forgiveness. Not only has Christ won our hearts (how cool is that?!) but in our faults He still loves us enough to let us win His too.

Pretty much, I have a new love for this song. And now when I sing it, it won't be just in the moment or going through the motions, but every part of the song has meaning.

So long, farewell...

Today was a tough day in my house. We had to put down my dog of 16 years, Patches. She was the sweetest dog ever. Seriously, she loved everyone who came into our house. Never barked or jumped on those welcomed in, but was a great watch dog and would bark at strangers or creepy cars. Most people liked her more than their own dogs. She was a stray that we found 16 years ago and was already potty trained and knew tricks, and for some reason would never leave our front door. So after a week of her being in our neighborhood and being at out front door everyday when Micheil and I would leave to go to school, our parents finally let us keep her. We promised to take care of her and love her forever... and that's exactly what we did! We couldn't have asked for a better pet!

Here is a picture of her just this Winter in the snow. She loved the snow and this was her sad face when I took all the snow off of her because she had to come inside.

I will miss her dearly and everyone has been sad all day around our house. If that Disney movie "All Dogs Go to Heaven" is true, I will be the happiest person when I get there! haha. My sweet pup will be hard to replace, she was the best!

One year later...

A year later and I finally remember I have a blog. (Shout out to Shandi and Micheil for updating yours as a reminder :)

This has been a crazy, hectic year and I don't know where to begin! First, I finished college. Yes, I'm an alumna of The University of Tennessee (GO VOLS!). I am currently unemployed and in need of a job by August. Preferably in Knoxville or the Tri-Cities, but "willing to travel" is also on my resume if anyone has any leads.

God has taught me a lot about myself the past year and I'm definitely still learning. I know my attitude sucks most of the time and He constantly shows me that I need to work harder at having an attitude of Christ (Philippians 2:5). I have read some good books the past year in addition to the Bible. First, I have read all the Karen Kingsbury books, check them out if you want a sappy, Christian fiction novel (once again shout out to Shandi for letting me borrow them). Also, I read "Prodigal God" by Tim Keller, "The Gospel and Personal Evangelism" by Mark Denver, "2 Live 4" by Ryan Dobson (definitely GREAT for teens and recommend it to others who also work with youth), "Don't Waste Your Life" by John Piper. These are just to name a few. I'm currently reading "Screwtape Letters" by C. S. Lewis and "The Reason for God" also by Tim Keller. These are all highly recommended books and since it's summer I know everyone needs a good read for the pool or beach!

You might be thinking, why did she just waste her time and list a bunch of books? But my answer to you is because through reading and understanding these books I have come to know Christ with a passion, and have learned a lot about myself too. Like I said already, I suck a lot of the time; my attitude, actions, and everything else is ugly and stained, but through Christ, He somehow sees beauty in me even with all my imperfections.

I hope to keep this a little more up-to-date instead of the once a year thing. We'll see how it goes.

Grace and Peace!