Power outage 2 hours after the storm? Much needed.

Tonight, there was a power outage. I am typing this while in the outage because I am fortunate enough to have a computer that has an unbelievably long battery life.

At first I was frustrated because of no power, like any normal person would be. But if you know me, you know that I hate storms unless I am in my home which luckily I was at the time of the storm and even more, I hate being alone during storms which I am. The good news is that I randomly lit a candle in my room for some reason tonight and when I when I went back into my room after being out in the living room all evening was when the lights went out. It definitely would have been more freaky if I walked into my room and it was pitch black. I don't know what it is but there is something about storms, power outages, and the combination that I don't like. It's not the storm itself, I love rain and I love watching lightning. But I don't like it unless I am in my own home. Weird, I know. To make me weirder, every time I see lightning I count until the thunder to calculate how close it is to me.

Trying to accept this alone time and make the most of it is hard. Even past all my nerves. Embrace this time without television, without internet (yes, I am typing without internet and will post sometime after writing but will post it as the day I actually wrote it… if that's confusing, just ignore all that), and without light so I can't even read (all my flashlights are in the trunk of my car from "cliff golfing"). It's nice to have no distractions and be able to just sit down and thinking without media overload.

I am content without all these "extras" we have in everyday life. I hate that I have 3 email accounts to keep up with, Facebook, Twitter, Skype, and a cellphone. I am literally a button away from any one person in this entire world. Yes, they are nice conveniences and I take full advantage of them daily… but maybe I need to hit the breaker and turn everything off every once and a while. And I'm sure I'm not alone!

I am going to challenge myself to take 30 minutes everyday that I am not connected. That might seem like a little amount of time to some, and a catastrophic amount to others, but I challenge others to do the same. Take time and just sit there and think. Whether you need the time for yourself without interruptions or you need to start planning a quiet time and have failed to do so… Take time and the initiative. Maybe 30 minutes a week is enough for you, or maybe 3 hours a day is more like it, I don't care your number or frequency just try it!

Oh, the Places You'll Go...

Yes, just like the Dr. Seuss book. The phrase "Oh, the Places You'll Go" has really defined my life the past few years. From the first day I moved to Knoxville to right now.

First, I NEVER in a million years wanted or even thought I would end up in Knoxville and honestly, I don't think anyone in my family did. I refused to go here, and only applied because my college adviser told me I had to at least apply to one in-state school. Little did I know it would be the best fit and the best choice I have made up to this point in my life. It was a great and pleasant surprise, not only that I'm here, but that I stayed and didn't transfer. This is stop #1, of "Oh the places you'll go" that I never thought would be. And it has truly been a blessing. Not only my location (being close enough and far enough from family) but what I have gained while here.

Stop #2 on my list. Van, Texas. Four words: It Changed My Life. Taking a whole summer and focusing on other people (something I am still learning how to do) and putting other before myself was one of the most out of character things I have ever done. I admit that I am one of the most selfish people you will ever meet. I spent the whole summer working with 3 other amazing counselors in a cabin full of 16 10-12 year old girls. Sounds crazy, I know. But that summer not only did I learn a lot about myself, but I also learned a lot about God's will for my life. I found a passion to work with middle school aged kids (once again, crazy, I know) and within a week of getting back to school and Knoxville... I went straight to my advisor's office and added a minor of Child & Family studies to my degree.

#3, back to Tennessee. I'm not sure if I should count Kingsport as a stop since it was kind of the beginning, but I will anyways. Kingsport is a fantastic place. I seriously love it. Those who visit hate it, but there is something about driving down the street and having people wave at you even if you don't know them... or going to the grocery store and running into 5 people you know. I love knowing tons of people and always having people you know that you can call up and count on. The people are great. The town is beautiful. And it really is bigger than people think it is. I don't know everyone, haha.

#4, now. I am in this awkward transition stage of life, that is really hard for me to accept. I have been applying to jobs all over Knoxville and the Tri-Cities, and the closest thing I have to even hearing anything is getting an interview, which is in 2.5 weeks. It isn't in a location I want to live (about 1 hours from both Kingsport and Knoxville) BUT it is definitely a job I am interested in taking if offered. And my parents will pretty much kill me if I don't take it. haha. It is working with a non-profit organization that houses children without homes. My "job," if I get it, would be to plan activities for this children. As the job was described to me, these children are harsh, a lot have been abused, and have no concept of love. If I get the job, that will be my main goal everyday... How can I show these children love and not only love, but how can I show them Christ without them being hostile. It will be a challenge and it won't be like an office job where you can leave your work on your desk to pick up the next day, but it will be a job that I can change lives. And in the end, that's what I want to do.

That's where I am right now. I am content with my life here in Knoxville. I've made some of the greatest friends and learned some of the hardest lessons, but I am certain that it was all for a reason. All my ups and downs have only made me a stronger person and hope to only become stronger. I pray that when people meet me they say, "Wow, look what God has done through her life," not "Wow, what a selfish person holding back all she has to offer the world."

Without Christ, I am nothing... but with Him, I have everything.

Don't let your words be without heart.

"When you pray, rather let your heart be without words than your words without heart." -John Bunyan

Sometimes I catch myself praying just because I know I should, not because I have meaning or, as this quote says, heart.

Learn it, love it, live it.

On a lighter note.

I have found a new love for cities outside of East Tennessee. This may be sad news to some, but I am throughly enjoying my time away from Knoxville and Kingsport. In the past few months I have been to:

-Cleveland, Ohio

-Atlanta, Georgia

-San Antonio, Texas

-Charleston, South Carolina

-New Orleans, Louisiana

(by the end of this week add Niagara Falls, Canada and New York)

....along with all the driving and stops between most of these places.

There is one state I will mark off of my list of places to visit again: West Virginia. It was a beautiful drive for the first hour, but after driving for 3 or so hours and never seeing anything at all got real old, real fast. And I thought Kingsport got boring, I can't imagine an entire state of boring.

My goal is to visit all 50 states within the next 5 years. These are the only states I have never visited in all my 21 years:

-Alaska

-Arizona

-Colorado

-Hawaii

-Idaho

-Iowa

-Kansas

-Michigan

-Minnesota

-Montana

-Nebraska

-Nevada

-New Mexico

-North Dakota

-Oklahoma

-South Dakota

-Utah

-Wisconsin

-Wyoming

31 down, 19 to go!

In one trip, I would like to knock out Nevada, Utah, Colorado, Arizona, and New Mexico (and I guess Oklahoma and Kansas either on the way there or back if driving)... if anyone wants to do the same, holler at me!

At the Foot of the Cross (Ashes to Beauty)

At the foot of the cross

Where grace and suffering meet
You have shown me Your love
Through the judgment You received

And You've won my heart
Yes You've won my heart
Now I can

Trade these ashes in for beauty
And wear forgiveness like a crown
Coming to kiss the feet of mercy
I lay every burden down
At the foot of the cross

At the foot of the cross
Where I am made complete
You have given me life
Through the death You bore for me

I'm laying every burden down
I'm laying every burden down

(Here's a Youtube link to the song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hk7_SBxYSZs&feature=related )

--------------------

I can't tell you how many times I've heard that song, but never listened to the words. I would sing along, close my eyes, and lift my hands... but I was just going through the motions and never paid any attention to what I was singing.

How beautiful and true is it? We were made from ashes and that's all we are until we have have Christ, then we are beautiful. How could ashes ever be anything beautiful? Just like the crown of thorn He wore on the cross for us, through his suffering, we now can wear the crown of forgiveness. Not only has Christ won our hearts (how cool is that?!) but in our faults He still loves us enough to let us win His too.

Pretty much, I have a new love for this song. And now when I sing it, it won't be just in the moment or going through the motions, but every part of the song has meaning.

So long, farewell...

Today was a tough day in my house. We had to put down my dog of 16 years, Patches. She was the sweetest dog ever. Seriously, she loved everyone who came into our house. Never barked or jumped on those welcomed in, but was a great watch dog and would bark at strangers or creepy cars. Most people liked her more than their own dogs. She was a stray that we found 16 years ago and was already potty trained and knew tricks, and for some reason would never leave our front door. So after a week of her being in our neighborhood and being at out front door everyday when Micheil and I would leave to go to school, our parents finally let us keep her. We promised to take care of her and love her forever... and that's exactly what we did! We couldn't have asked for a better pet!

Here is a picture of her just this Winter in the snow. She loved the snow and this was her sad face when I took all the snow off of her because she had to come inside.

I will miss her dearly and everyone has been sad all day around our house. If that Disney movie "All Dogs Go to Heaven" is true, I will be the happiest person when I get there! haha. My sweet pup will be hard to replace, she was the best!

One year later...

A year later and I finally remember I have a blog. (Shout out to Shandi and Micheil for updating yours as a reminder :)

This has been a crazy, hectic year and I don't know where to begin! First, I finished college. Yes, I'm an alumna of The University of Tennessee (GO VOLS!). I am currently unemployed and in need of a job by August. Preferably in Knoxville or the Tri-Cities, but "willing to travel" is also on my resume if anyone has any leads.

God has taught me a lot about myself the past year and I'm definitely still learning. I know my attitude sucks most of the time and He constantly shows me that I need to work harder at having an attitude of Christ (Philippians 2:5). I have read some good books the past year in addition to the Bible. First, I have read all the Karen Kingsbury books, check them out if you want a sappy, Christian fiction novel (once again shout out to Shandi for letting me borrow them). Also, I read "Prodigal God" by Tim Keller, "The Gospel and Personal Evangelism" by Mark Denver, "2 Live 4" by Ryan Dobson (definitely GREAT for teens and recommend it to others who also work with youth), "Don't Waste Your Life" by John Piper. These are just to name a few. I'm currently reading "Screwtape Letters" by C. S. Lewis and "The Reason for God" also by Tim Keller. These are all highly recommended books and since it's summer I know everyone needs a good read for the pool or beach!

You might be thinking, why did she just waste her time and list a bunch of books? But my answer to you is because through reading and understanding these books I have come to know Christ with a passion, and have learned a lot about myself too. Like I said already, I suck a lot of the time; my attitude, actions, and everything else is ugly and stained, but through Christ, He somehow sees beauty in me even with all my imperfections.

I hope to keep this a little more up-to-date instead of the once a year thing. We'll see how it goes.

Grace and Peace!